Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
