I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
