Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
do herpes really smell.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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