1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
