My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
