he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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