Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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