I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
