I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
