theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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