shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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