your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
