Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
