grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
