I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
