i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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