And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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