i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
