Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
All I want is dick and wine.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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