he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
