Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
