My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
