She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
