I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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