I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
