Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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