I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
