Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
