I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
not ubering you a puppy
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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