You can't motorboat a personality
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he shaved USA in his pubs
even my farts smell like vagina
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
