The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Life is so much better after having sex.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
