you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
