Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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