Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
