hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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