I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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