I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
