whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
