If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
