I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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