Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
