Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What a dumb baby whore.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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