I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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