that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
