Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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