Porn is love you can see.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
