Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
