Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
