dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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