didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
