So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
