Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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