Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
