dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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