if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
