Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
