she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
