I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I look better un-naked...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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